northern lights.

i wanted to get this down while it was still fresh so pardon any spelling or punctuation mishaps.

i spent a weekend being surrounded by people who don't really know me but still took me in as one of their own. 

friday night started off with drinks at a pub, then fun games followed by adventuring to the queens and dancing like a mad woman to songs that somehow i knew the words to? hailing taxi's like i was still living in toronto and regretting the pizza i ate moments after devouring it in all its cheesy glory. thank you infinity times infinity to the beautiful and brilliant t and k and their hilarious friend for being so incredibly welcoming and oceans of fun.

christmas. i finally understand what people are talking about. the feeling of togetherness was overwhelming. my heart ached because it was so full. saturday all through the day and night and into sunday (even now), i fought back tears of happiness regularly. i got to spend the weekend with a family who are the definition of cool. the love they all have for each other is so apparent. their love runs deeper than unconditional and i was privy to it this weekend. i am beyond blessed that not only did i get to witness all the love, but i got to be a part of it. my cheeks still hurt from all the smiling and laughing.

my most favorite were all the hugs. eyes shut, tight embraces. long enough that our hearts could beat to each other. perfect.

they are an aurora borealis. so beautiful. you never want it to end.

i will never forget this past weekend. the smell of turkey and gingerbread will forever fill my heart and mind with memories from this christmas.  

thank you most of all to the man who invited me to be a part of this. for, because of his kindness, incredible spirit, and just being who he is,  i am going to bed heart-full and belly achingly happy tonight. 

   i just want more.

when i was young

when i was twenty-one i quit smoking. i stopped writing. i dropped out of university. when i was twenty-one i made a lot of money. thought i was pathetic for allowing dishonesty into my life. i wore high-heels and rocked the shit out of them. when i was twenty-one i rekindled my love for photography. spent countless hours on the floors of used book stores. when i was twenty-one i stopped being afraid or worried that i was missing out. i dreamt about running away from "it all". decided "it all" wasn't anything. and then i moved.



to the other side of the country.