self

i like to think i am always myself, but i have no idea who i am.
maybe that is me. that is my self.

borrowing happiness from tomorrow.

winds of change

there are too many cold spots in the bed.
i want to be laid down on a bed of roses. tired of sleeping on thorns. bon jovi taught me that.

winds are blowing.

absence makes the heart grow...?

its been close to a year since i last wrote here.

i just need to put the words and feelings out there and hope that by doing this i can let it go and find strength. my soul is heavy. i am feeling alone and drained.

i dont feel like me.

cant sleep.

the wind is howling and rattling my windows. barking at my building to let it in. there is a breeze that curls around my ankles as i get up to go get water. pulling and pushing on my door. loosening the hinges and keeping me up. right now.


 i am sick again.